his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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