I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
