Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize