Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
