My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
