My Higher Power is John Stamos
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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