Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
