I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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