It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
