win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
