Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
