Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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