im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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