Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
