My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
