Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
