In the future we'll all be gay
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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