he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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