I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
