then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
