Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
