a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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