For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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