Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
only you would photoshop your dick
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
