Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
