I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
