What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
