Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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