yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
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my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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