I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
