the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
