i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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