one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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