What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
