We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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