my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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