is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
