I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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