he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
