I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
