All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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