I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
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i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
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His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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