i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
