hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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