I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
