Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
