I got her a Nickelback box set.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
