Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
