when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Is it because I queefed?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
