Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
