in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
