even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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