your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
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I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
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i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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