guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
