but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
