Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
