Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
