this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
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I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
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I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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