did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
